Perk!

Okay, so I found a perk that comes with the whole fictionalizing falderal, and I must share.

I can say ANYTHING! I can tell things I never would have admitted to in a million years, and if anyone says anything about it, I can answer -

It's FICTION!

Mwaaahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa.....

*sighhhh...*

Windblown and Weary

There are a few things about me that do not go well with my dream of being a writer. They're very frustrating. But I'll tell you about them so that anyone else who feels this way will know they're not alone.


In order to survive in this life, I have to take prescription drugs every night. I don't dare go a day without them, or the adverse effects are immediate. One of them, in particular, affects my imagination. The first time I took it, I felt stupid because I only had one thought in my brain at a time. Oh, sure - come to find out that's supposedly "normal', but it had never happened to me before. I always had four or five trains of thought barreling through my mind all at the same time, sounding their loudest whistles as they went, which made it very easy to always have two or three stories brewing on different burners back there at all times. Can't do that so well any more.



My age seems to have snuck up on me while I wasn't looking, and suddenly all those wonderful ultra romantic daydreams that used to come so easily all seem improbable and full of catches. Maybe it's too much personal experience that tell me that handsome prince over in the corner giving me the "come hither" stare is most likely a really big, fat, immature jerk. And those impossible quests that made for so much excitement as a kid now seem such a useless waste of time, when there's so many other important things that really need to be done that I already don't have the time and energy to get done like I should.


I always thought my greatest goal in life was to be a mother. I may go to hell for saying this, but now I'm not so sure. Don't get me wrong - I love my boy, but forty isn't really the best time to start having kids, if we'd ended up with Short Pants ten or fifteen years ago it would have been great. But I'd already given up when he came along, and adjusted my life's goals to be a writer instead of a mom. Adjusting them back to somewhere in the middle is not easily done.



So, add that to all the financial strains, stresses of an unsure adoption, and life in an apartment that's two sizes too small, and that's my life in general viciously battling with my dream of being a writer.

Don't worry about me - I'm not as depressed as this post makes it sound. It just is what it is...

So if anyone else is struggling, you're not the only one. Hang in there with me, and we'll be okay.

Coming Attraction!!

Since I can't seem to wrap my head around what to do with that blasted nonfiction, I'm throwing myself full force into my other current project.

Yes, I'm publishing something.... Keep an eye out for all the fabulous details coming soon. I will give you a bit of a hint:

There may not be a magic formula for writing a novel, but this comes pretty darn close!

Check back for more details coming soon!

Rejected, Without Prejudice

Well, I've gotten the first rejection on my nonfiction.

Ouch - that stung! I found myself saying, "but she only read the first fifty pages! She didn't even get to the best part!" Yeah, spoken like a true amateur, I know. And then I cried. And pouted. And hid in my room (okay, I'm actually still in there...). But finally I gave in and reread the rejection letter to see what good I could glean from it.

It was a very constructive and personalized rejection, for which I am grateful. There were a couple of lines of; "I know you can do better than this", which were killing, but also some positive feedback. The one major suggestion included was that I rewrite this as fiction, based on a true story. This isn't the first time I've gotten that suggestion. Matter of fact, several people have suggested the same thing.

I've been very stubborn about absolutely not doing that.

This ray of hope following closely after made me seriously reconsider my stance:

..."if you were to make this a fiction piece, and use that same voice as in the first chapter, it would be an awesome, compelling book and I'd want to be first in line to consider it for publication..."

In truth, I needed to get the real thing down on paper, in all it's questionable glory. It was terribly painful, and even more therapeutic, and for what it's worth, writing it was a refining influence on my immortal soul.

But that's done now. I've faced the demons and survived to, literally, tell the tale. I've honored my father and my mother, like the Good Book says.

Putting it in print the first time felt like it almost killed me in places. Do I dare consider the seeming blasphemy of doing it again as fiction? Now that I've conquered it once, can I reshape it, make it my servant, .....rewrite it? Do I have that kind of strength?

I'm not sure. But I do know that I can handle a good dose of humility, uncomfortable and irksome as it may be. And if this trusted source, among the many others who have suggested the same, thinks it is a good idea, then perhaps I should be pliable enough to at least give it a darn good try.

So thanks to all who have supported, critiqued, read, and even rejected, the nonfiction. All that's left to say is:

Here we go again!

Valor Publishing Group Opens Its Doors

There's a new publisher in town! They are now open and accepting submissions.

Valor Publishing Group

I have a special interest in this one, it is founded by a friend of mine, Candice Salima.

Valor intends to mix the national and LDS markets, and flood them with literature that lives up to high moral standards. More and more the "traditional" LDS publishing houses are working to break into the national market, which is fantastic for more reasons than one - first being that not everyone in the world has a Deseret or Seagull Book store on the corner, and secondly that the LDS population are not the only people interested in reading good books that are not filled with junk!

Put really, truly good books on the shelves of the nations bookstores, and people will buy them!

In order to do that - authors of those really, truly good books need to get them to the publishers who can get them on those shelves!! Submit, people, submit!

It's Out There

You know that big chunk of my heart that I cut out and pasted to a page and called an autobiography? Yeah?

Well, it's out there in the wide world, all by itself. Gone off to make it's fortune, or die trying.

For better or for worse, I've sent it to it's first publisher.

Thankfully, the editor I've sent it to is someone I know, respect and, more important, trust implicitly. That makes it a little easier. Slightly. Marginally. A tad.

So now I sit back and hope the silly thing impresses the devil out of the next person to read it.

If I'm this bad with a book, what will I ever do when Short Pants leaves for college?

The Wonders of Modern Technology

Had to laugh the other day. We've discovered Skype, which is a wonderful invention! But, as with all technology, it has it's limits. So do cell phones, namely batteries.

So put two technological glitches together and what do you get? You get the transcript of me trying to explain to my "technologically innocent" mother what had gone wrong.

Here, I'll show you:

Man, I love living in the modern world!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! *sighhhhhhhh*

Out of the Pit...

Okay, I think it's about time I get over my negativity kick. No more wallowing for me, at least for a while.

My mom and sisters are here for a week, for my niece's wedding, which gives me a good opportunity to pick their brains about the last of my fine tuning and cement some details I wasn't quite sure of. It's also given them a chance to express some concerns about the book, and hopefully have them put to rest.

I'm not stressing about getting the last bits done right this minute, there are just a few more tweaks to make before I send it out into the world to make it's own way.

I'm not sure whether rejection will be a relief, because it gives me that much more time before I have to face any repercussions, or a more jolting pain than the other rejections have been. They say don't take it personally, but I'm not sure with this manuscript I could help it - it would be part of my life they are rejecting.

...oops, almost sank into the wallow pit again. Sorry about that.

However it goes, it will be, at the very least, finished - and that is something I thought I would never accomplish. So KUDOS for me on that front.

Would you like a glimpse into the story itself? Here, I'll give you one... or maybe two. Enjoy.

When It Rains...

It can never be just one challenge at a time, can it? Would it spoil some vast eternal plan...?