Reluctance...

Well, I'm through the vast majority of edits that were suggested. No, I did not make every suggested change - some of the things that caught my critiquer were simply my voice. I couldn't change them without changing the entire tone of the story. But many, many others were very good suggestions.

And then there are the ones that are very good suggestions, but they're digging into new ground not covered on the previous editions. That new ground is back in dangerous territory, and I'm not quite sure how to proceed.

Writing a biography is tricky business when the members of your family that were also involved are still alive and kicking. Aye, theres the rub with the latest additions.

I have one family member who has pulled some really rotten things on the rest of us. The majority of them have nothing to do with this book, but some of it directly relates to the story I'm trying to tell. One incident in particular is critical to the plot, but I put in the barest bones of the situation and skipped over all the stuff I could have put in that would have just been included for meanness. And now there is one or two other incidents that probably should find their way into the story to help flesh it out.

It's like walking a tightrope. And the biggest problem is the lack of safety net, since the party in question (the jerky one) has expressed an interest in reading this book once it's done.

Oh, boy.

Blown Gasket!

Wanna read what I've been writing lately?

Check out this post over at my other blog!

Blown Gasket at Wendsdays Child

Look for the red type. Talk about tension and conflict in nonfiction!!!

Draft #7

Sounds like some kind of specialty beer, doesn't it? Don't worry, it's not. (Sorry, Ray!)

I'm about to start my sixth set of revisions on my autobiography. Another auther, who I now consider a good friend, read it and gave me some wonderful and enlightening feedback. I feel re-energized and ready to go another round with this book.

One of my critiquer's main points was that the manuscript reads like two separate stories. I never would have noticed that myself, but it made sense the instant that she said it. She asked why I wrote it, and what I wanted it to be. I really had to think for a minute about that - in fact, I've been mulling over it all afternoon. I think I've got it, and I'm looking forward to weaving that uniting string through the entire work.

She also said something that struck a very deep chord inside me. I would love to quote it perfectly, but I doubt I will, so I'll come as close as I can.

"In order to really put [your hero] up on a pedestal, you have to reach down into Hell to bring [your villain] out. But that means you have to walk through Hell to find him."

Wow.

So that means my next revision is going to be a walk through Hell. Can I do it? Can I do it to put my parents on the pedestal they rightfully deserve?

...bring it on.

Writer At A Loss For Words

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...and that about sums it up.

Waylayed

He was waiting for me in the bathroom.

"Can this wait?" I pleaded, I really had to go!

"But I need you," he said. "You've got to let me explain."

"Fine. Just turn around."

It's happened before. I think it must be the magnetic field created by water running through metal pipes that allows my characters to come to life in my bathroom. The last time it happened, my hero stood on the side of the tub, looking down from over the shower curtain. At least this time, the villain had the decency to turn his back.

"It's always been about 'us'," he said. I could only assume he meant himself and my heroine. "If the rest of them were gone, and the data destroyed, then we could live in peace."

"I could understand you killing the General," I admitted, over the sound of the flush. "But what about the others you killed off, one by one?"

"If no one was left who knew who we were," he said, turning around to look at me over my shoulder in the mirror as I washed my hands, "No one would ever come looking for either of us again, and we could both stop running. You've got to see that it makes sense. I'm not just a madman - there's reason, and logic, behind what I've done."

"Aha..." I was beginning to see.

"You don't know what they put us through when we were kids," the villain said.

"Yes," I answered. "I do. I knew you when you were young, and I understand you now."

"Good." He stepped back, a satisfied expression on his face. "That's all I wanted."

"I still don't approve." I reached past him for the towel to dry my hands.

"Of course not," he said. "But at least you know I'm not just some cookie-cutter psychopath."

"No," I said. "At least you won't be if I can help it..."

You've Heard of the 7th Inning Stretch? Well....

I have this problem when I'm writing, it's called the 3rd Chapter Wall.

I am great at beginnings, I really am - the first three chapters are usually a breeze. But then I seem to slam into this great big wall. Kinda like the Green Monster at Fenway Park, you know that big wall between 2nd and 3rd base outfield, that nobody ever seems to get a ball over? I don't know why I seem to high center, but even when I know the plot, it seems to run dry right there and I have a devil of a time getting over it.

I suppose its a specialized form of writer's block. Really, there's nothing to be done except plunk my bum in that chair over there and write, whether I like it or not. But if anyone has any suggestions - magic potions, voodoo chants, a magic Louisville Slugger, etc - that will get rid of 3CW - please let me know!

*sigh*

Why Waste the Paper? A Gripe in Progress...

Oh, boy - have I found a new gripe!!

I came across a new book/movie on the internet and glanced into it out of curiosity. I was fine, a little sceptical but that's normal for me, until I read an excerpt of Chapter 3.

There's always been this idea that positive thinking is the way to rule the world- simply think it strongly enough, and it will be yours, whatever "it" may be. While I do believe that one must keep a positive attitude, let me tell you why I think this particular subject is - not to put too fine a point on it - Bull Puckey. (not the words I'd rather use, but I'm trying to not say those sorts of words.)

In keeping with the bovine theme, here's my beef with this book: Here is what it really tells those reading it: You don't have enough money, so you need to pay these people to tell you how to get it. You're not thin enough - and I quote: "If you see people who are overweight do not observe them, but imediatly switch your mind to the picture of you in your perfect body and feel it," . (yeah! looking at a fat person is going to make you fat! Can anyone see why I would take exception to that??) You're not good enough: if you have problems, then it's just because you're not smart enough to "think" our way out of them!

Good grief, people! It's just one more instruction on intolerance, one more tool to tear us down, and to make us doubt ourselves. One more thing to undermine those who read it. Here's one more way we're told that we're not good enough.

Why? Why is this even in print?? Yeah, it's called "The Secret" and the secret is that it's a big, and I do mean BIG, load of tripe! I do not understand why innocent trees were killed to provide a venue for this junk.

Kills Me to Admit This, But...

Fablehaven ROCKS! (yeah, I know - I'm a little late joining the bandwagon, but still...)

My Mothers Day present from my husband was book 1 and 2 of the Fablehaven series (He actually bought me the hardback of Book 4, but as I had never read the others, I traded it for paperbacks of the first two.)

I couldn't put them down - read them both in three days. They're not what I expected them to be, they're actually a lot more grown up than I thought they would be. I'm glad of that. I will say one thing - Brandon Mull really knows how to weave a mystery!

Okay, okay - I know I am guilty of the odd fits of jealousy regarding Mr. Mulls billboards, but as I finished up Rise of the Evening Star, I had to admit - man, he deserves it!

I guess I can also admit that what I really want isn't a billboard of my own - I just want to write something that deserves one. Something like Fablehaven!

Review: Bone Warriors by Bron Bahlmann

At first glance in my cursory sweep of the LDStorymakers Conference bookstore, this title caught my eye. Then I saw the sign that said it was written by a 15 year old, while my interest peaked, all my cynical hackles did, too.

I liked Christopher Paolini's Eragon, I really did - but it was entirely obvious that it was written by a teenager: gimmicks in place of emotion, long stretches of relying on travel for action, and a certain amount of predictability.

Bone Warriors is SO MUCH BETTER! Brom Bahlmann is a fabulous writer! I kept expecting to find things that showed his age through his writing, and there were a couple of times I thought I found it - only to be proven wrong.

Derrick and Tweaks are best friends, and when their families are kidnapped by the evil Necromancer, they go to rescue them and save the day. But its not that easy for a couple of kids on a quest. Along the way, they end up with an enemy officer as a prisoner, a giant cow that saves their lives, and menagerie of unique creatures to face and outwit, each more menacing than the last.

Bone Warriors is a fantastic adventure - with two main characters that are real, believable, loveable boys. There are so many twists and turns, mixed with so many unique characters, there is no predictability - right to the very end, you aren't sure what's going to happen. The beginning is fabulous, the middle is tight, and the ending is somewhere between "happily ever after" and "cliffhanger", but I'm not sure which one is closer. You will want a hankie toward the end, but I'm not telling you why, just trust me.

It's so good, that the only tiny speck I can find to critique about it is the use of the word "lycan". Lycan is one of those words like "orc" - it was created by one story(Underworld, Orc is from Tolkien), and is quickly making its way into common usage. That's it. That's my one nitpick. Believe me, I looked for more, but that was all I found.

I completely enjoyed the book. I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who likes an adventure, and I will be keeping my eye out for more by this fabulous new author!

Well done, Mr. Bahlmann! Well done, indeed!

Bone Warriors

Bron Bahlmann

ISBN:978-1-59955-322-1

Available for pre-order on Amazon.

www.bronbahlmann.com

Three VERY GOOD Reasons...

...I will NEVER let Shirley Bahlmann near me with a camera, EVER AGAIN!



Pictures from the LDStorymakers Conference have been posted at the official site (click here to see them and highlights from the conference) . Shirley was the official photographer, and I swear she has a knack for catching me in the middle of a smart remark or stupid grin every time she clicks that camera!

Every time Shirley pointed a camera at me, I just happened to be standing next to one of the most beautiful, petite woman I know. Talk about Mutt and Jeff!

Okay, okay - this one I deserved. I have the indignity of being a ham thrust upon me.

And this is the wonderful Shirley Bahlmann, herself. Truly, I think she is a wonderful person, but I swear I'll run the other way the next time she points a camera my direction!

Sour Grapes? By the Vineyard!

I understand that there were a whole heap of entries for the Storymakers First Chapter Contest, and I also understand that they judges had to be very picky.

Picky or not, there comes a point when you can honestly tell that one of the judges is not someone you could make happy no matter how hard you tried, someone who probably should not have been assigned your genre. Several of the entrants have been grousing about this since the conference, we pretty much all feel the same way. Do they make it a point to give each entry one judge who doesn’t like the genre, just to give it spice?

Honestly, I ask you!

Here are some of the responses included with the feedback to the non-winning entries – starting with mine. Now, I can’t complain about the notes about missing punctuation, typos, etc – those are well deserved. But there were some remarks that made me laugh out loud. These are the ones I have to share. Keep in mind, I have no idea who these judges were, so if you’re reading this and you recognize these comments as something you may have written – take it as the sibling-like heckling that you know you deserve! (You know I love you all!)

Here’s the set-up. The scene is a barbarian rescuing a maiden on a cliff from a dragon intent on eating said maiden. He has to climb the cliff to get to where she is. So...

At one point, a sentence is referred to that says the woman’s mouth was open, but her screams couldn’t be heard over the rushing wind and crashing waves. Here’s the note on that:

“[He] would be able to see her mouth, but would not be aware of the screams...”

I find that funny – ever watch an old horror movie with the sound turned down? You can’t mistake someone screaming.

But that one I can take with a grain of salt.

A couple of paragraphs later, Judge Nitpick said, and I quote:

“Use your dictionary. It should be glued to your side.”

Two sentences after that, this person misspelled the name of a very popular and well known fantasy novel! “... a kind of Aregon meets Pirates...” (I did not make that up, I have the paper to prove it!) Yeah, where’s your dictionary, there? I actually appreciated being likened to Eragon, thank you!

A friend of mine also wrote (in a fantasy, mind you) about a god sitting on his velvet covered throne, looking down on his creations. One judge (no idea if it was the same judge or not) actually asked in the notes:

“Where would you get velvet in Heaven?”

Um.... hello? Heaven, gods, all-wise, all-knowing. If they can have streets paved in gold, is it really such a stretch that they would know how to make velvet? Or at least a really good retailer?

But here is my personal favorite, again from Judge Nitpick, from my own chapter.

“It’s an awfully big dragon if it has ten inch talons”

Well, yeah. Draaaa-gonnn! Kind of the point that it was big.

“Did you draw out the foot to see how big it would have to be to have ten inch talons?”

Well, I didn’t really need to, I took my measurements from an existing creature. Kodiak bears can have ten inch claws, and they stand between 10-14 feet tall on hind legs. I think that’s a pretty good reference to size. 10 inches is also the span of my fingers if I lay my hand out flat. See? I did my homework.

Oh, wait – it gets better:

“A dragon that big would just tear the cliff apart, nor would the wind have any effect on it.”

WHOA. Back up.

Not only is that sentence entirely improper, I want everyone to really think about this for a minute! The wind, rushing in off the ocean and up a cliff would have no effect on a dragon because it was too big?? You’re kidding me right?

Someone has obviously never been on a 747 when it hit turbulence! I wonder if they are aware that giant beasts made of heavy metal, can be thrown about by the wind just as easily as a tissue paper? Maximum Take Off Gross Weight (which means how much can it weigh and still get airborn) of the new Airbus A380 is just over 1.2 million lbs – if that were a dragon, the talons would be one heck of a lot longer than ten inches!

The very next remark is:

“Thinking through logistics is really important.”

Oh, my word. Ya think?